Giving feedback, especially when it's critical, is a difficult but necessary part of managing people. Which is why leaders often resort to their method of choice:

The praise sandwich.

Tuck a critique between two slices of praise, and voila! Feedback is served, and life can go on.

The only problem? The sandwich rarely satisfies.

Not only do some people find this manner of feedback less reliable, but they often miss the point, focusing on the praise at the end of the sandwich instead of the critique in the middle. The praise sandwich is the fast-food of feedback: Cheap, quick and lacking real substance.

For a more appealing alternative, forget the sandwich. Try a WRAP instead.

WRAP your feedback

The WRAP approach is a four-part plan for delivering feedback that's more candid, caring and collaborative.

WRAP stands for:

What/Where: State what has happened and where it is happening.

Reason: Describe your reason for caring about the issue and the individual(s) involved.

Affect: Explore the emotions this causes with "I" statements ("When this happens, I feel...")

Prompt: Shift from blame to contribution by asking the recipient to suggest strategies and solutions.

Instead of disguising critical feedback with empty praise, we bundle specific observations with nonjudgmental emotions. We address issues with more candor and coherence. Most importantly, WRAPs shift the tone and trajectory of feedback, giving the recipient more voice and choice over what should happen next.

WRAP in action

Say you're a sales director in a midsize company. Lately, you've become frustrated by Mike, one of your top-performing sales reps, who has developed a habit of interrupting others during meetings. You've noticed this creates an uneasy dynamic and may even be costing you prospects. You appreciate Mike's energy but need him to exercise more restraint and better listening.

Served as a praise sandwich, your feedback might sound something like this:

"Mike, you're one of my best sales guys, but can you do me a favor and tone it down during meetings? You're talking over everybody! But hey, keep bringing that energy, my friend!"

If Mike is like most people, he'll walk away from that feedback encounter thinking that he's a top performer (praise) and that you, as his boss, want him to maintain his current sales position (praise). Mike is probably so attuned to the bookended praise that he overlooks the part about showing restraint (critique). Instead of addressing the core problem, your praise sandwich probably made the situation worse.

Now re-imagine this conversation with a WRAP approach:

What and Where: "Mike, I noticed you interrupted Julie twice this morning during our sales meeting. Can we talk about that real quick?"

Reason: "I'm bringing this up because I care about you and our team's success, and this threw the meeting off and created some tension in the room. Did you feel that, too?

Affect: "When I saw that, I felt uneasy – without a clear outcome from that meeting, we're going to fall behind on our target."

Prompt: "What's your take on the best way to go forward here?"

This is high-grade feedback. You clearly define the cause and context (interrupting a team member); explain your reason for caring (it strained team dynamics); explore why it matters to you (could cost the team leads); and seek genuine input from others (rather than impose your own ideas). Not only does Mike know exactly what's on your mind and why you care, but he's given the chance to evaluate this information for himself and generate his own actionable solutions.

By approaching others as partners and reducing fear and uncertainty, we can increase the chances that feedback will be positively received. What's more, this model empowers others to take action on a solution proposed by them, not us, raising the chances it will actually lead to lasting success.

Sharing feedback is never easy, but experience has shown me that when these conversations are reframed with a WRAP approach, people feel truly served by the feedback they get – and may even start coming back for more.

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