There's more to feedback than just a verbal exchange. What we see can be just as important as what we say. And unless we're paying attention to someone else's visual cues and clues, our feedback may not be complete.

Even the best of us can miss the signs that are hiding in plain sight. It could be the result of willful blindness. Or perhaps a lack of self-awareness. But when we aren’t picking up on the signals around us, we get end up  delivering fearful feedback.

The solution? Become a feedback noticer.

When sharing feedback, noticers become more aware of what others are thinking and feeling without them even saying a word. That act of noticing sharpens our understanding of people and situations – an essential feedback skill that shapes the full picture of who others are and what they've done.

Some people are natural-born noticers. They can recall the worn look on the face of an over-stressed employee. They can discern the body language and sideways looks of team members during a meeting. They remember who was taking notes during a presentation and who was checking social media.

And then there's everybody else, who somehow manage to overlook the obvious. When we miss these signs, our feedback might end up missing its mark.

How can we become first-class noticers? By paying attention to what's right in front of us.

Set aside judgement

Too often, we pay more attention to what we’re looking for rather than what we’re looking at. (If you are one of the 13million people who couldn't spot the invisible gorilla, you know what I mean.) These visual blinders keep us from seeing the whole picture– or worse, cause us to distort it entirely.

My rule of thumb: As you size up a feedback encounter – how people look, sound and feel – be a reporter, not an op-ed writer. Describe to yourself what you see, not what you think it means. Without that objectivity, it's much harder to spot the patterns or connections hiding in plain sight.

Challenge initial assumptions

Sometimes we miss information simply because we don’t want to acknowledge it exists. Psychologists call this “bounded awareness” – the tendency to notice things that fit inside the bounds of our preconceived beliefs. As a countermeasure, it's vital to challenge our assumptions. Are we seeing the picture clearly? Have we ignored something important?

A good way to stretch the bounds of awareness is to "look twice." Seek alternate perspectives. Ask a colleague or trusted partner for their point of view. Since different people have different bounds of awareness, getting multiple views can help us see past our own blinders.

Build a noticing habit

Noticing is a conscious choice. When we pay attention to the way we pay attention, our visual field becomes sharper and more deliberate. To train myself on becoming a first-class noticer, I designate time each day for "noticing bursts" – short, intentional periods of time when I heighten my visual awareness. At first, this can be very difficult. Given our bias for action, we're more naturally drawn into a state of doing, not being. My initial "noticing bursts" lasted barely a minute. But with time and practice, I’ve managed to sustain my awareness for longer stretches of time.

We’re living in an age of busyness, distraction and disconnection. That makes it even more difficult to decode and deliver feedback fearlessly. But when we take time to engage with our surroundings, challenge our beliefs and assumptions, and reflect on what’s right in front of us, we can become first-class noticers and give better feedback. Because what we see might just surprise us.

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