Difficult conversations become easier with courage and consideration.

Life would be so much easier without difficult conversations, wouldn't it?

Whether they're taking place at work or at home, these conversations stir up a mix of dread and discomfort. We worry about how our message will be perceived and received. We dodge and delay, hoping things will magically get better. And when all else fails, we spin countless ways to talk around hard issues rather than confront them directly.

Our goal is to minimize pain -- for us and for others. That's noble, but also counterproductive. Pain reduction might bring short-term relief, but it rarely provides long-term results. The best way to deal with difficult conversations?

Dive in.

Tood Davis, former Chief People Officer at FranklinCovey, joined me on I Wish They Knew to discuss ways to make difficult conversations easier. To make progress, Todd thinks we should approach with a clear purpose ("Why am I having this conversation?") and intent ("How can I help this person be most successful?").

By engaging with greater empathy, clear intent, and a strong purpose, we can get the heart of an issue while still showing some heart.

https://youtu.be/RJIjQno3jVk

Make it easier and more effective

To lower the heat on these conversations, bring them to a place where discussion and collaboration can prevail. Here are some ways to do that:

Be candid, but caring: Share the whole truth, kindly.

Let others be heard: The human need to feel understood is deep. Acknowledge it.

Embrace the pause: Resist the temptation to interrupt, correct or fire back. Let the moment settle before you respond.

Ask, don't assume: Stay curious and probe for insights that can help you better understand what others know, feel and need.

<< Watch or listen to my conversation with Todd Davis >>

Difficult conversations are never easy, but they get easier when handled with courage and consideration. When we understand what others need, demonstrate that we care, and make genuine offers of support, we can get better results and relationships.