Fearless feedback? Let's count the ways.

You can find a Top 10 list for just about anything: Top 10 best extended warranties. (No thanks.) Top 10 useless things you learned in school. (Just 10?!) Top 10 breakfast cereals of all time. (Hello, Wheaties!)

Guess what didn't make the list? Top 10 ways to make feedback fearless!

So, in the spirit of offering a feedback fix, here are ten ways to have those hard conversations and get the results and relationships you want.

1. Hold the mirror.

“Mirror holding” is a dramatic shift in the tone and trajectory of feedback conversations. Instead of telling people what to see, show them where to look. The best leaders I’ve worked with don’t force a change. They provoke an insight. They treat feedback as an opportunity to expand the view of others, not enlarge their own.

2. Look forward.

Feedforward is a fearless shift towards future possibilities, not past failures. That’s exactly where leaders should be guiding these conversations about work. Work quality improves when people believe their future is clear, exciting, and something they can create. There’s a reason a car’s dashboard is bigger than its rearview mirror.

3. Listen and learn.

“Know it alls” like to think they have all the answers. “Learn it alls” like it to get answers from others. A simple way to turn feedback into a conversation is to adopt a learning mindset. Stay curious. Be humble. It’s amazing what we learn about ourselves when we’re just a little less certain about our own beliefs.

4. Make the ask.

Too often, feedback arrives too late. Take matters into your own hands by asking for feedback. And ask often. Increasing the frequency of of feedback raises the odds that you'll get something useful out of it. Feedback is too important to leave to chance. Get it on your terms.

5. Widen your circle.

After getting negative feedback, the last thing you want is more feedback. But that’s exactly what we need, and it pays to tap your critics and challenge networks for their input and insights. We can't go far by ourselves.

6. Don't push it off.

We forget things almost as soon as we learn them. This “forgetting curve” wipes out nearly 70% of information that’s not actively retrieved. When feedback is time lapsed, the effects can be devastating: Neither the giver nor receiver can truly recall what happened. The result is blame, shame and pain. Unlike a vintage Chardonnay, feedback never gets better with time.

7. Ditch the sandwich.

There’s nothing wrong with a little praise — just a praise sandwich. Not only does it dilute the message (we don’t know what others are saying), but it diminishes trust (we can’t rely on what they’re saying). For better results, try serving a feedback WRAP: The combination of candor and collaboration offers a more satisfying experience.

8. One thing at a time.

Too many choices and an abundance of decisions can literally shut down our ability to process and perform. When feedback feels like firehose, it shuts people down. Instead of piling on, set a few targets at a time. It’s easier to track and execute, which means real improvements will actually happen.

9. Go for the variety pack.

With feedback, one size fits none. Experts and novices have different feedback preferences, as do men and women. Right-sizing our feedback means taking these and other realities into account. I’ve found it helpful to ask others how they wish to receive feedback — written, verbally or a combination of the two. People are unique. Their feedback should be, too.

10. Get moving.

If you get negative feedback -- and who hasn't? -- don’t waste time obsessing over it. That's the natural and human thing to do, but it's also a colossal waste of energy and emotion. Instead of parsing the message for hidden meaning, simply thank the person for giving you feedback and make a plan of action. Too many people get stuck on what happened and fail to think about what needs to happen next. If you want to become fearless, don’t dwell on the past. Fix the future.