The hardest part of getting negative feedback is learning from it.

In a perfect world, we'd turn mistakes into learning moments and make failure our teacher. Unfortunately, multiple factors -- like ego protection, fear of consequences, and the tendency to remember success and not setbacks -- prevent us from fully embracing negative feedback and using it as fuel for growth.

Knowing this, how can we improve the chances that we'll learn from and stay motivated by negative feedback the next time we receive it?

Create distance

By nature, we treat our own failures more harshly than the failures of others. While this tendency can be self-punishing, it's also an opportunity: By distancing ourselves from our own failures, we are more likely to learn from them. Imagining that a mistake happened to a stranger can remove ego from the equation and provide us with a blank canvas to consider the upside of negative feedback more clearly.

Listen like an expert

Research by Ayelet Fishbach and Stacey Finkelstein shows that experts are more likely to embrace negative feedback than novices. Given their experience and expertise, these individuals are more committed to (and motivated by) opportunities for progress, even when they are presented in harsher terms. When we absorb criticism as "experts" and view it through the broader lens of our past achievements and work history, the sting of negative feedback can become a signal for learning.

Shift perspective

It's our choice to view negative feedback as something painful. After being criticized, our instinct is to prove we're right rather than improve our wrongs. That's an understandable response, but it's also a missed opportunity: Adopting a "learn it all" perspective can clear the way for attracting the insights and information we need to make corrections and improvements. When we stay curious, we gain clarity.

Negative feedback should prompt us to reflect, not react. When we do that, it's possible to turn feedback losses into wins. And that's a victory worth chasing.

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