Three ways to prepare for giving feedback that lands.

If we want feedback to achieve its purpose, we need a plan.

Sharing feedback without fear takes skill and savvy, but it starts with preparation. Thinking ahead about our timing, content and delivery can be the difference between a feedback flop or flourish.

Here are three ways to make a winning feedback game plan:

1) Slow down

The right time to give feedback is rarely right away. Aside from health and safety concerns, most workplace issues don’t need to be addressed instantly. Giving “fast feedback” can be perceived as reactive, biased or incomplete —dealing a potential blow to your message, outcome and relationship with the receiver.

Reflect before you react

Does your feedback clearly address the issue at hand? What's the goal or desired outcome of your feedback? Does your message prompt others take action or run for cover? There’s power in the pause.

Ask before you assume

If you find yourself jumping to conclusions about someone’s motivations or intentions, take a step back. Turn your assumptions into questions and get curious about why and how things came to pass before passing judgement.

2) Rehearse

From athletes to stage performers and even concert pianists, the simple act of rehearsing the steps and sequences of an action can lead to concrete improvement — all the more reason to prime your feedback before it goes live. Feedback that’s delivered cold is unlikely to receive a warm reception.

Practice before you preach

Imagine yourself in that feedback moment.  What are you saying and doing? How do you look and sound? More importantly, how is the other person responding? What pushback might you encounter?

Widen the loop

With discretion, talk to other people to gather their insights and impressions about how to size and share the message. How others have responded in the past can be a useful predictor of how they’ll react in the future.

3) Share

Feedback should never be an act of “surprise and disguise.” If your goal is to help others improve (and it should be), then bring them into this process. When scheduling a feedback sit-down, be transparent about your intent (what you want to resolve) and purpose (how you hope to help) and be sure to communicate this before your exchange. Let others know you want to turn feedback into a conversation marked by a genuine give-and-take.  When we trade power for partnership, trust goes up and defensiveness comes down.

Be clear

No sugarcoating or praise sandwiching – stick to observations that can be supported by actual outcomes, like the impact of a behavior on individual or team performance. Candor is kind. Confusion is not.

Preload the message

In some cases, others might appreciate getting a preview of your feedback so they can process it in advance. Put the offer out there.

While we can’t guarantee how others will take to our message, we can position ourselves for success. Pause, prepare and partner — these small shifts can help us deliver the kind of feedback others want to hear.