Turn feedback failure into success.

There are lots of ways that feedback can fail, and they mostly start with us.

Even with the best intentions, we probably commit more feedback failures than we care to admit. These unforced errors — in our style, delivery and timing, to name just a few — result in feedback encounters that often leave others feeling defeated and depleted, not renewed and ready to act.

Learning how to share high-quality feedback takes time, training and practice, but prevention starts with awareness. Here are five of the more common ways feedback fails to live up to its potential — along with some quick fixes that can put it back on track.

#1 – Overloading

Ever try taking a sip of water from a fire hose? That’s what happens when we share too much feedback at once. The information pile-up dilutes the message, meaning and impact of feedback. Being particular about what we share can help prevent feedback fatigue and allows others to focus their decision-making energy on one task at a time.

The fix: Moderate feedback by discussing specific issues over a longer range of time.

#2 – Delaying

Most problems don’t self-correct, and unless we share feedback in a timely fashion, they’ll likely get worse. Since our ability to remember key details diminishes with time (we fall victim to the brain’s “forgetting curve”), delaying feedback may lead to a distorted view of what really happened. The right time to share feedback is now, not later.

The fix: Set a predictable cadence to feedback and shorten the gap between action and interaction.

#3 – Misleading

More people would act on feedback if they knew what it actually meant. Too often, the truth gets tucked away as a “praise sandwich” or ducked completely. When that happens, we muck up the message and, worse — break trust with the people we’re trying to help.

The fix: Give candid, caring feedback that leaves no room for (mis)interpretation.

#4 – Going negative

Harsh feedback is not helpful feedback. I’m not suggesting we gloss over or sugarcoat reality. But if our message is excessively negative, there’s a good chance it will only spark defensiveness and dampen motivation. Effective criticism is delivered with respect and care, and it manages to be honest without being brutal.

The fix: Strike the right balance between calling out mistakes and calling attention to opportunities.

#5 – Looking backwards

There’s a reason a car’s windshield is bigger than its rearview mirror. When feedback looks back on past failures instead of future possibilities, we end up creating a sense of hopelessness and helplessness. With feedback, we can’t look back and change the past, but we can always move forward and fix the future.

The fix: Focus feedback on near-term goals and the actions that others can still take.

Failure can define us or refine us. Turn your feedback failure into success with these practices, and you’ll be on your way to sharing feedback that other want to receive!